Half a Step Over

Who Do You Shop With?

My favorite form of exercise is walking. When I want to really get into it, especially when it’s cold or rainy—or a little snowy—I go to a mall. It’s indoors, it’s big, It’s warm, I can do laps. But malls mean window shopping. I have a friend with whom I do “dinner and a mall.” We meet in a department store, go for a bit at one of the mall restaurants—we have our favorites and alternate among them—and we walk.  But that’s also window shopping.

I’m really not a big shopper. I like to look at displays, but getting my wallet out of my bag means that I’m probably looking for something in particular—for myself or as a gift. That’s when I want another opinion, but who should I use.

I don’t look at prices on things that other people buy, and I don’t want them to look at the price of what I’m buying, The woman I do dinner with first shares her coupons with me; I share with her. After all, if we’re not using them for ourselves someone should benefit. I would rather shop with someone who will give me an honest opinion on how I look in whatever I try on, not a comment on my budget. Which leads me to who I’m willing to shop with.

Yes, I shop with the woman I have dinner with. We’ve been friends for almost 50 years and know each others’ tastes well. But we never comment on each other’s budgets. If I’m not paying for something it’s none of my business anyway—unless I want the same thing. I just want an opinion. It she doesn’t like how it looks, or if she thinks the fit is off,  she will tell me that, but only that. But I have other friends I won’t go into stores with. First, there are those who want to tell me how to budget. It’s my wallet; stay out of it. Plus, these are sometimes people who don’t know how to budget themselves—trust me. I’ve heard many tales of money woes. If you can’t manage your budget, don’t come near mine.

If I Didn't Ask for an Opinion...

Then, there are those who want to toss my wardrobe and start fresh with how they believe I should dress. Personally, I think my clothing choices are fine; I was once told by my boss that I dressed too well for the office, I was a bit taken aback by that one and decided to ignore it. The only time I’ll worry is if they tell me something is ripped or that my clothing is dirty—and that’s never happened. I have sometimes appeared slightly wrinkled, but usually only if I’m tired and not paying attention when I leave the house. And, by the way, I kept on dressing “too well.” (She, however, always dressed down; I’m not sure she even changed the jeans she wore all the time that often, although she said she had several pairs just like them. I kept my mouth shut on that one.) I think my clothing style is fine and suits me. No, I didn’t wear jeans for most of my life, but I didn’t have the patience to figure out what “worked” for me in denim either. I’m definitely not the type to try on 15 different styles in one clothing type to find out what works. If I try on three of anything and one works, I’m done.

Don't Disappear Either 

And then there’s the third category. I met someone for lunch—at the mall—and said I had to stop into a store to look for a particular color in pants. She came along. I went into the dressing room, tried on a couple of pairs of the pants I might want, picked one, paid, and then had to find her. No interest in anything I was looking at or even an offer of an opinion. We stopped to look at wallets for her and I said something—just from my view. She appreciated it but she had no interest in what I was doing. I’m still deciding if that was good or rude. I’m probably going to err on the side of good, but I still find the complete lack of any interest at all odd.

Obviously, I have friends on all sides of the issue. I think I prefer to shop with the ones who are at least interested in offering an opinion when asked. Total disinterest is always startling to me. But I’m still going to avoid the ones who look at the price tags on my behalf, and those who want to reinvent me. I’ll stay out of their budgets and choices too. For those cases, it’s just “lunch/dinner and a ….” I’m trying to keep my sanity.

Off to the mall now!