The Diet War            

 Like many women, especially we older ones, I have an ongoing fight with my weight. I frequently feel that I gain weight anytime I look at a carb. But I also really like carbs, so it’s an ongoing internal war. In 1999 I was at my heaviest (which was nowhere near the numbers you read about people losing). So, I decided that was it and weight would be coming off.

Two Parts

We all know that the issue is diet and exercise I’ve always been a walker, no matter what I weigh, so I pulled on sneakers and on my lunch break at work, I went out for a walk. If it was raining, I’d do some laps in the parking garage attached to the building. Otherwise, there was a huge circle in front of the hotel attached to the office building and I’d go there. I’d walk out the back—near the parking garage—work my way to the front, do the entire circle (probably over a half mile), then work my way to the back of the building and go inside I didn’t want to go more than a couple of miles because it was an office building and I couldn’t get a shower if I overdid it. Still, it was at least 30 minutes of walking 4-5 days a week (sometimes workload did me in), so I was trying.

Monday through Friday I was very careful in what I ate. After each walk I’d go to the cafeteria and get a salad and a bottle of water. I’d try to avoid any snacking, both during the day and at home at night—remember, I see a carb and I gain weight. On weekends I was a little less careful and sometimes dessert came in. Still, I began to lose weight. And to make a long effort short, in about 4 months I was down 25 pounds and all my clothes were so big on me. It was a great feeling—especially when people noticed that something had happened and there was less of me.

Years Later

Cut to 2010. I’ve gained back maybe 5 of the 25 pounds—something that’s really good since a lot of people tend to gain back even more. Then my daughter got married, and I looked really good thanks to a really good tailoring job at the dress boutique. But, I still felt I needed to lose more. So, back to walking, and being exceptionally vigilant. And over time I lost 14 pounds. Now I look really good   But it’s really hard to keep it off.

So here comes the baby shower. Yes, my daughter is pregnant and I’m part of the baby shower team. And I really didn’t think I ate all the badly that weekend, but I gained 4 pounds in 5 days – and I still can’t get them off. And the baby is 9 months old. So I promised myself new shoes if I can lose the 5 pounds in 4 weeks.

Age Is Catching Up

I’m walking more again. I’m watching everything I eat. But it is almost 4 years later, and I’m almost 4 years older, and my metabolism is really shot. And my arthritic hips really don’t like too much exercising—you know how it is: work out 1 day, suffer for 2 days. Or, spend 5 days helping with granddaughter, which means a lot of lifting, and you have to sit down for several days when you get home just to let your body catch up. But then again, I can still get into the smaller sizes of clothes that I have and there’s still space inside them. I just want those 5 pounds off again—actually, I’d like 7 or 8 pounds off but I don’t want to be cranky about it.

As I said, it’s a war. I think I’m losing it--in more ways than one.

Not So Common Sense

I know, probably not an original title. But, it is true that many people were born without common sense.

I come from a very bright family, at least from an IQ test point of view. My IQ, which I admit hasn’t been tested in a very long time, was never as high as the others. I’m fine with that. What I find hysterical though is that when you need someone to do the little everyday things, I’m called on. I’m considered to have more “common sense” than most.  My mother makes a party and furniture has to be taken apart so tables can come in? My sister the engineer isn’t first for that—I’m under the desk with a screwdriver…taking apart and putting together. Getting ready to move? From my children: “Mom, can you come pack me? You do it better and have better ideas to get everything in.” Yes, it’s true; I think through all the steps and figure out which ones are really needed, before I even get to the scene of the action.

But let’s talk about common sense in the thinking area. I know a very bright woman, eminently successful in her field, but she keeps getting into trouble because she doesn’t think things through in advance. Think about health care. She’s an independent contractor, and was paying for her own health care (separate topic she screams about that we’ll skip for today). The date for signing into the Affordable Care Act was announced far in advance. Three days before the deadline, she’s on the phone redoing her plan and complaining about how bad this all is. Now she’s complaining about how much she’s paying—never mind that her old plan was no longer available, and that she can now go to the doctor more than the four times annually that was previously allowed; and her new plan covers prescriptions, something else she didn’t necessarily have before. 

I don't claim to be better than anyone, but my plan came due at the end of June. I spent time on the phone with four companies, including hers, to get prices. No way would I sign up for her group; their charges are way out of line compared with others. I almost flipped when I heard what they would charge me – then again, that was before I heard what my current carrier wanted me to pay. Turns out they only recently started to cover NJ and have only a gold standard plan. I’m not staying with them either. If she had bothered to think about it, maybe she could have had other estimates. That would be common sense.

Thinking Ahead? 

Let’s talk about thinking for a moment. Really, if you do everything last minute, who’s actually to blame when things don’t go the way you want them to? I know, it’s the other guy’s fault. But maybe, just maybe, if you sat down a little sooner, and thought about it, and what it would take to get the result you wanted, you might get what you want, at a better price/time/location…. You get the point.

The other issue with common sense is that it doesn’t make you look brilliant, it’s more that you look like you’re plodding along, thinking a little too much. Plodding can have its advantages. That kind of thinking, for someone with common sense, can sometimes make you think of all the possibilities and outcomes, so you can at least look good, and maybe also make others look good. Always a welcome result.

And speaking of just thinking and planning ahead. Does it really make sense to look at a problem from only one viewpoint and then be surprised when other opinions are voiced and are better thought out than yours? Maybe it’s good to consider all sides of the question before figuring out the solution—that applies to not only assembling things, but also planning dinner, trips, and anything else that can happen in more than one way. Plus, if you insist that only one way can ever be the right way, you can end up with the car in mud in the middle of a dirt road that you really weren’t supposed to turn onto. The actual road to turn on is 100 feet up--and paved.

Have to go now. I’m doing another basement purge, and planning this week to get the bags ready for the garbage pickup. I’m trying to plan ahead. It’s only common sense.

To Commute Is the Question

I work as a freelance editor. Most of the time, I work from home, although I have a couple of clients who I visit on a regular schedule—and based on their workload. I also live in northern New Jersey, in an area where it takes at least two trains, each way, to get someplace. That’s why I freelance.

I could get a staff job in New York City—they’ve been offered to me. I could even work only as a freelance there, but I’ve chosen not to. At this point in my life, currently considered middle age, I have made a conscious choice not to commute. And people always ask: Why? It’s because of those two trains, each way. Followed possibly by a subway since most firms aren’t that close to the train station. And because I’m an editor. There have been times when I went into a local office at 9 a.m., and came out at 11 p.m. How does that work if I take a train? I can take the train from my town between 7:30 and 8 a.m., and switch to another train in either Secaucus or Hoboken, just to get into the city. Unless the office is near the station, I’d then have to take a bus or a subway to the office, and then start to work. If I come out at 11 p.m., I’d have to do that in reverse, on off-peak trains, which means that there are fewer of them. And sit in moderately empty train station waiting areas until the train arrives. The thought of doing that makes me really tired. Actually, doing it would exhaust me within the week.

Yes, as a freelance I could say that I leave at 5 p.m. every day, but then I probably wouldn’t have the temporary gig. Because employers in my areas know that they can find other people to do what I do, whether better or worse doesn’t matter. And for those of you who say, let them get you a car to take you directly home, that’s not happening either. In fact, I’m hearing it doesn’t happen for many people with staff positions either. I know people who used to have that privilege, but in the last few years it’s gradually been eliminated. I’d be on my own. And even if I didn’t find the commute exhausting—because I’d still need to be in the office first thing the next morning—I think it’s an abuse of the employee to expect it.

So where do I work? I have a regular client for whom I’ll do 4-5 hours per day, and drive almost 45 miles each way for them. It’s not great, but I still control my transportation; the transit system doesn’t. I have another client who is only 25 miles away. For them, I’ve even gone in on a Saturday night. It’s not great, but the pay isn’t bad and I still get to control my transportation; it doesn’t control me. And because I can do that, sometimes I’m willing to go the extra mile for my client. One night, I was in the parking garage getting ready to leave and my phone rang. Could I come back in? They hadn’t realized that a big job had to be done that night (time management is not a good issue for them) and they desperately needed help. So, I went back in – and made another 4 hours worth of income. Sometimes being nice can pay off.

Then there was the Saturday night I worked on the launch of a new drug—when drugs are approved, most of the time the manufacturer wants to get it out there immediately in order to start to recover the millions that have already been spent in development and approval processes. Strangely enough, I had done so much freelance work on this that I was considered one of the “experts,” so I was the one asked to stay. It was the weekend that Daylight Savings Time ended, and one of the men walked me to the car just before 2 a.m., the time that the clocks change. I still kid them that I got home before I left because the time changed as I put the key in the ignition. It’s a good story—and true—and I’ve been dining out on it for a long time.

And Staying Home... 

The rest of my clients I deal with remotely, which means that I’ve taken status calls in my pajamas (not very often, but it’s happened), and I’ve put in a load of wash when I needed to stop staring at my computer screen. The convenience of working at home is, for me, great. If I want to take a break at 3 in the afternoon, I can. So long as I make my deadlines no one cares if I work in the middle of the night. And while I still have to wait for the work to arrive, I have the ability to manage my own deadlines, so if one job isn’t there, I fill in my time. And if the job arrives at 7 p.m., I can tell them I’ll do it in the morning. I’ve never had a client get really upset over that issue, but I have had clients beg me to do something on a really quick turnaround because they know they’ve caused the problem. Fortunately, that doesn’t happen too often – and at least I’m doing things I want to do while I wait on them rather than sitting at a desk in a cube thinking about what I could be doing.

I choose not to commute. For me, it works. If at some point I need more than freelance, the issue will be reconsidered. For now, anyone need me to find where their commas belong?

My Life in Reading

I think I’ve said before that I read—a lot. As in, when I go online in the morning, before I start any work, I’ve read my e-mail, which fortunately isn’t a lot, at least skimmed several news site, looked at a couple of jobs sites—a freelancer can never have too many thoughts about those—and looked in general at whatever might tickle my fancy.

Before I go to bed I’ve probably looked at more than one book—an e-reader can do that for you but I also look at paper materials. If there’s an interesting magazine floating around the house, I might peruse that too. Then again, sometimes I just accumulate magazines, especially those that aren’t time sensitive, and then one day I sit down with the pile and start to plow through. Actually, that kind of reading always me happy. You know, if you don’t like the article—and I’ll at least read part of it—you can just flip the page and move on. Plus if I’m in a store with a magazine selection, that’s ultimately where I’m drawn. I like to find new magazines, and see what’s doing in old favorites. But there I tend to read what they call “women’s” materials. Not so much the decorating or celebrity stuff, but stuff with interviews, and fashions, and sometimes weepy stories. And I will also look at the crochet and cross-stitch/needlepoint magazines. Those meet my need for hobbies. I have a large pile of the latter with designs marked. I don’t always want to make the item, but I like to try out new designs—hence my having an odd set of wraps in my closet. I don’t wear them often but I had fun trying out that pattern.

My reading habits can probably only be described as eclectic. I let my mind wander all the time. Fortunately, there is a decent library in my hometown so I’m there once a week—I have to work sometimes, which gets in the way—reviewing the latest, and some of the not so recent books. If I find something that is interesting but is part of a series, I put the new one back on the shelf and will go looking in the stacks for the earlier works. I really can’t stand to read out of order.

Choices Have to Happen 

But then again, I frequently don’t read what can only be described as “SERIOUS” work. My daily job keeps me reading usually in the medical field. That can be depressing—have you ever looked at some of those possible side effects all day? When I come home I want things to be a little lighter. I’m addicted to romances, romantic suspense, and maybe mysteries. If it’s by Nora Roberts, I have to check the library constantly for the latest release. But not all of Nora; personally, I’ve never been into her J.D. Robb persona. Eve and Roarke are interesting but I just don’t care enough. That’s happened with a couple of authors who write under several names. I’ll read everything in one genre, but not in others.

The e-reader was, I think, invented for me. I’m sitting on an airplane as I start to write this. But I’ve already listened to six podcasts, half of a Neil Diamond album, and read a book. Okay, it wasn’t great, so I skimmed some a lot of it. But I had the option, and had already deleted one of the books from the device. It was well rated but getting really stupid. I’m not that indiscriminate in my reading. I’ll probably finish at least three more books before the flight home in five days. I have to read before I go to bed and this is the easy way to do that.

How did all this reading start? According to my mother, as soon as I figured out how the letters worked, and how words were made from them that was it. I loved the library. When my sister figured out reading, she decided she didn’t want to know anything from books. I was the one who pointed her to the good ones–Babar was a personal favorite. She now also reads but like me handles serious stuff all day so is also on the romance wagon.

One of my goals when I had children was to make them into readers. In that area, I’m definitely a success. My husband was the one to read to them every night, and he and they sometimes fell in love with some books that I had to take out of the library repeatedly (yes, I tried to buy some of them but we managed to find a fair number of out-of-print volumes.) I actually now have a first edition of one of the books in my house because it was the only copy I could get. My husband can’t wait to read it to our granddaughter, who’s still just a bit too young for it. Right now we use board books for her to avoid ripping pages. And my daughter is reading those to her daily. She even has some favorites already.

And I used the older one to help the younger one pick out books. Plus, they read an even wider range of material than I do, and even more seriously. Yes, my older daughter reads a fair amount of “chick lit” but I’ve been in her home and trust me, it’s not the only “good” literature there. In fact, I’m thinking of borrowing a couple of books from her. Early in high school my younger daughter and I were in a book store and I agreed to buy any book she liked (up to a certain price) for her. We went home with the complete books of F. Scott Fitzgerald.  I really couldn’t believe that was what she chose but it’s still on her shelf, and she’s been out of high school for a while.

Just Open a Book, a Magazine...Your Choice 

Many years ago I read an article about the birth of the organization “Reading Is Fundamental.” I thought it was a wonderful idea. You can’t dictate to someone what they can read, or at least I believe you shoudn’t try to do that. To make a reader, sometimes you just need them to open a book—any book—on a topic they like. It will spread to other topics from there. There have been news stories on how the Harry Potter series got children to open books. And after that, they discovered other books just because they became interested in new topics. I think it’s wonderful.

To me and my family, reading is the best way to get knowledge. I read on any topic that vaguely interests me. On any given day I’ve done a lot of news, maybe some science, a bit of fiction; whatever catches my eye—and sometimes I’m reading on the Internet and end up far from where I started. I just keep clicking along. It was made for me.

What are you reading? And if you’re not, why not start now?