Reading Is My Life
 

My parents say that I was born talking, and haven’t stopped since. That's probably because there were no books before then. I think I’m frequently very quiet, try not to say all that much, listen a lot…and have my head down reading.

I say I read a lot. As a freelance editor, I can have considerable downtime, and if I have everything else I need to happen done, my mind is buried in a book, the news, the Internet. It’s been like that since someone explained to me how letters fit into words, and words became stories. The alphabet for me is my greatest companion. I just get it. When my sister, who is four years younger than I am, decided that reading was boring, my mother sent her into the library stacks with me so that I could make recommendations. She reads a lot, too.  I think my mother wanted to raise readers…and she met her goals.

People are always surprised to hear how much I read. And what I’m looking at. Yes, I read a lot of romance novels, both good and bad. My argument for that is that as an editor, I spend a lot of time on really heavy subjects with a lot of very long words (and yes, I can even spell most of them myself; for the rest, there are medical dictionaries—and Google.) When I’m done with that, I need an escape. Mindless fiction provides that. But so do mysteries, other blogs, fantasy, magazines…you get the idea. While today I get most of the news I read online, I still like a good paper book.

What to Read

So, what do I read? A lot of news. My regular routine is to start with CNN, then the Huffington Post, Politico, the Washington Post, and several days a week, the Drudge Report. Sometimes, I also look at the National Review, which for me is a bit far out there. I am constantly amazed at how many views there are of the same story One person shoots another, the responses range from there are too many guns out there to there are not enough guns out there, to all those with mental issues should be locked up, to it is all a liberal conspiracy, to the conservatives are ignorant, and my favorite, that God decided to do this because he or she is not studied in the schools. The Comments areas are fascinating.

Then, I have a folder online called “Fun Stuff.” This ranges from Dr. Oz to fashion to  some TV networks to the Daily Beast (which probably belongs in my News file but wandered over here instead). And I have a folder for other blogs. I’m particularly fond of some on personal finance for women (I’ve sent links from those to my 30-something daughter). And I read up on technology as well as job hunting and views from people of my age—the middle years.

Reality is that if a headline catches my eye, I’m more likely to read the story. Why not? I believe that if we limit what we read we are closing ourselves off to other viewpoints. And I like to know what others think. I may strongly disagree with them, and think they are out of their minds, but unless they advocate killing, maiming, or hurting others, they have a right to their views. And if they do want to kill, maim, hurt others, then they should be checked on.

I was on a plane a while back with only one paperback. The other one was buried in my carry-on in the rack above. I hated that book and had to put it down. I had been researching e-readers for months (I’m also known for extensively researching items before I decide to buy anything besides clothes and shoes; if I ever decide to get one). A week later I had a Kindle and 200 books loaded.  It’s been a godsend. And again, I have books in at last 10 categories on it (my family will tell you I tend to sort things that way as well; just makes it easier to find something to fit my mood). 

Creating Lifelong Readers

Having said all that, you should know that I made my children into readers. My younger daughter especially reads very widely, particularly in fiction. She has recommended a lot of authors to her parents and for the most part, it’s worked out well. I always think back to kindergarten for her. She is a bright girl who has always had a lot of interests but somehow hadn’t taught herself. Plus, she was the youngest in her class so based on the results of the prekindergarten testing (something I really never understood but it was required), I had her tested to find out just how bright she was. When I showed the results to the school principal he commented that he didn’t believe she was that bright because she wasn’t reading. So, I went off to the library, got some very early readers, and had them in the car on the way home. With her older sister’s tutoring, she had the first one done by the time we got home—and her sister was very excited over being the tutor. A week later I went back to the principal and said, “We’re reading, what’s next?” That effort has meant that wherever she is now, there’s at least one book in her bag, along with a puzzle magazine if she’s on a train or plane. Her sister travels with at least 2 books in her bag. On one plane trip she learned how to do crossword puzzles, so she has at least one of those magazines as well.

What’s the point of all this? Only to talk about my love of reading, and to encourage everyone to try it. At the time it was founded, I read about the Reading Is Fundamental program. It put books of all kinds into the hands of children just to get them to start to read. There’s nothing wrong with reading only sports books, or comic books, or any one subject. Reading Harry Potter books led children to read on other subjects because they started to discover that they liked to read. I always advocate just starting.

Now, what page was I on…

Is Empty Nest Syndrome Really That Bad?

So many of my friends have dreaded the departure of their children for college. What would the kids do without them? What happens if they get sick? Said children needed to be within 90 minutes of driving distance so their mothers could get to them quickly if they had a cold. Maybe the kids should get home at least every other weekend.

My question, and everyone would look at me like I grew three heads, was, why are we obsessing on this? Didn’t we raise our children to be good kids? Don’t we trust them? Ultimately, shouldn’t they leave anyway when their educations are done and they go off to forge their own careers and start their own families? Yes, in today’s economy that might be a bit of a pipe dream, but it should be what we want for our children—shouldn’t we?

I like to think that I raised my daughters in a way that allowed them to go off to college knowing that they could handle most of what came at them. They knew how to study; they knew how to make friends; hopefully they knew that drugs and alcohol were not their best choices as a big part of their lives. But some things I couldn’t teach them unless they left home; and we were at the other end of the phone line, and could be there in just a few hours in the event of an emergency.

Returning to the empty nest problem: I sent one daughter off to college in the late ‘90s; the second left in the early 2000s. I had three years with just one child at home…then, no one. When the second one left, I was okay. All right, I cried a couple of tears as we left her standing alone amid several hundred freshmen waving good bye to their families. But it didn’t really hit me hard for quite a few weeks. Then, one night, I came home late from work, my husband was out of town (he was traveling a lot for business at that time), and the house was dark. And there was no one to talk to. We won’t even get into the part where I was hoping someone (maybe the cooking fairy) would have made me dinner after a long day. That was a startling moment and not easy to get over. I really had to start to think about what I was going to do.

The next weekend, we set up a light in the kitchen that went on automatically at a certain time so I didn’t walk into a dark house. That fixed a lot of problems. I walked in and could turn on the radio right away—there were no iPods or tablets in my life then to keep me company—for the noise value. And I had to start to think ahead a little more on meals. It could be handled.

And there were positives in the empty nest; they just took a little longer to find. I was able to go out more in the evenings without checking to make sure the children had something to eat/read/do in my absence. Yes, the high school student is quite capable of taking care of him/herself but you know we like to keep an eye on them when they live under our roof—even if we can’t see them. I had dinner with friends in the same position; could go to a meeting 20 miles away; sign up for a class I never thought to take before. Plus, if I wanted to go to bed at 7:30, I could. And I had some peace and quiet at the end of the day that allowed me to come down from some high-stress days at the office. Ultimately, it turned into a good thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I love when my family is here with me; we enjoy each other and have a lot of fun together. And my daughters still look for private time with their mother to just talk about their lives. When things get crazy, I just walk away and spend 15 minutes, usually in my bedroom, to regain some inner calm. Reality is that an empty nest, while traumatic when it first happens, can be survived. And life can be enriched by it.

Oh, and that light in the kitchen? We still have it. Not walking into a dark house always makes things better.