Just Listening
I’ve said before, and I’ll say it again, I seem to be
regarded as a bit of a therapist and sometimes mentor by some of my friends.
Today’s world isn’t easy. With all of the technology and the constant need to
produce—even very young school children have homework, some of it intense—people,
at least those in my age group, seem to have a much greater need to talk…about
themselves, their lives, what’s wrong with the world.
I’m not sure when I
turned into the therapist of choice. I think it’s because I am a pretty good
listener, and usually don’t offer an opinion unless I’m asked. But be prepared
for my answer when you ask me for comment. I’ve been known to let someone have
it.
A friend of mine is what I would call a serial dater. She’s
on several online dating sites and goes out frequently. But I’ve been noticing
that by the third date she usually finds something wrong with the guy. On the
whole, I think she has a tendency to pick the wrong guys. But, she also
nitpicks. The guy who spent several years in jail and had a lot of tattoos? He
finished the jail term years ago and now runs a very successful--and
legal—business. Whatever happened way back when is not important. The abundance
of tattoos? Okay, I’m a little weirded out by those too, but he wore long sleeves
on your dates, so I think he knows that people are bothered by them.
Don’t like your job and have interviewed for another one
that’s easier to get to—a bonus in this job market? Be careful. The friend who
asked you in to interview on a pro forma basis has then turned on you before.
Personally, I don’t trust her to follow through on it--and I’ve said so. Heard
this story before, with a lot of the same players. As it is said, the
definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and
expecting a different response. Same goes for the serial job searcher. Very
picky in what they want to do. Unfortunately the job specs for what you’ve done
for years have changed, and recruiters don’t look past the education line. I
don’t know what you should be doing, but maybe it’s time to either rework the
resume or look for another route around it. I can’t change the specs.
The Other Side
But there is another question in this. If I listen to all of
you, repeatedly, wouldn’t it be nice if you offered to listen to me babble
along on what’s bothering me? Guess not. I’ve tried to get someone to listen
every so often, but apparently no one wants to hear anyone else’s problems
unless they can respond by relating it to their own problems and successfully
turning the conversation back to themselves. Really? Personally, I think that’s
rather selfish. No one in the world has no problems. Next time, perhaps listen
to others; you never know, you might learn something that you can use, without
making the conversation all about you.
So, let’s talk about me…. Anyone out there? Hello?
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